Uncertainty is opportunity in disguise

Lately, my life has been full of moments that have me saying, “Well, this is unexpected…” But when I really stop to think about it, life is truly always changing — it's one long ongoing metamorphosis, not a destination. The problem is, we forget that. When unexpected things come up we react like change is the exception when in reality, it’s the rule.

Somewhere deep down we do know that life will test us, and that growth requires discomfort, but somehow when that moment comes and the feelings flood over us we go "this isn't supposed to happen, why did this happen, how do I fix it and make everything the way it was?"—we get upset about the fact that change is happening and uncertainty is present. Which is what our brains are hardwired to do, because change and uncertainty are the opposite of safety, but only until you learn how to use them as opportunities to heal.

Here's what I've come to realize about facing change and uncertainty in my own life, and maybe this will resonate with you too:

The hardest part about change is that it smashes our comfortable illusion that life is predictable. And when that illusion breaks, we can easily get stuck in wishing things were different, feeling powerless for months—or even years. This pattern is far more damaging to your life than whatever external change brought it on. Because even though the old reality is gone, the energy of "I wish this wasn't happening" keeps you stuck in the past and stops you from moving toward something even better, more alive, more aligned, and more you.

Isn't it hard being stuck in "I wish"? Yes, it's hard and it uses up all your energy leaving nothing left to create your new story and reality from. So there has to be a reason we do this right?

I think it's because as hard as it is to stay stuck, it's harder still to look inwards.

What I mean is this:

When change comes blowing in it tends to blow the lids off of everything—showing us not only what we have to rebuild on the outside but also where we’ve been out of alignment with our own agreements and values with ourselves. Or maybe it reveals ways in which we have been complacent and become the passenger in our lives instead of the driver. As hard as it might be to face those parts of us — especially when we are navigating something big on the outside—doing so can also be a doorway to an empowering transformation. Take this opportunity to take stock, to take back what matters to you, and to get back to your agreements and your values and your life, with purpose.

Your life force is potent and valuable. Don’t let it quietly drain while you are wishing and waiting. Use it on purpose.

Here’s a shift you can make today

Instead of resisting the fact that life is changing and getting caught by old habits, start by:

1. Taking off the shades — See reality for what it is: life never has been and never will be predictable.

2. Redirecting your energy — Notice how much effort it takes to live in opposition to reality (ruminating, wishing things were different). Then imagine using that same energy to create something new, better, more aligned.

3. Get honest— In what ways have I drifted from my values, from what matters to me, or from my agreements with myself and how I know I need to be living? Be gentle and loving, this question isn't to create judgement it's to bring forwards the habits that aren't in your best interest so that you can consciously create new ones.

4. Stop judging yourself— this is worth repeating from #3. Stop judging yourself. Be curious and loving and intentional instead.

Rewrite the story

Old belief: This shouldn't be happening, I'm not capable of handling this, I'm never going to feel ____ again.

New belief: This IS happening and I have a 100% track record of navigating every other change life has brought me. So too will I navigate this one. I am going to use this as an opportunity to _____.

Take this with you

Navigating change is a balance of surrender and anchoring—surrendering to what you can’t control, anchoring into what you can.

Today, take 5 quiet minutes to write down:

• What’s one thing I need to gently let go of that is out of my control?

• What’s one small action I can take to move forward that is in my control?

• What is one thing in life I feel sure about?

• What does the bravest most confident part of me want to say right now?

Your life force is potent and valuable. Don’t let it quietly drain while you are wishing and waiting. Use it on purpose

xo,

Emma